Baby's First Christmas Read online

  “Well, he can’t eat yet, I’m still breastfeeding. But I want to get a head start on recipes because I don’t want Chris eating processed foods. I have a while to figure it out,” she explained, peeking over my shoulder.

  “We have a while,” I corrected her.

  If there was one thing I wanted her to know, it was that she wasn’t alone in raising Chris any longer. She had taken on so much, and done a great job handling everything independently, but there was no way I wasn’t going to be involved now that I knew the truth.

  Chris’ cry interrupted another gaze of desire, and I looked away first, going to my son before lifting him from the car seat. He instantly relaxed, struggling to hold up his head as I cradled him on my shoulder.

  “So, are you going to show me the rest of the place?” I asked, turning to Holly. She was watching me with Chris, an emotion I couldn’t place clouding her eyes.

  “There’s not much more to see,” she joked, walking through the narrow kitchen before leading me down the hallway. “I know you’re thinking this is so outdated to what you’re used to in New York, but I’m only renting so I don’t want to make any updates.”

  Holly continued with her explanations as she showed me a laundry room. I wondered if she knew how large her home was in comparison to my apartment in the city. While it was a tiny place in Savannah, the cottage house was a mansion in Manhattan.

  “So, this is my bedroom,” Holly announced from the doorway.

  Her four-poster bed was draped with white sheer fabric and an over-stuffed chair was in the corner where I imagined Holly cradled Chris as she read books in the evening. Stepping into the bathroom, I tapped a soft rhythm against Chris’ back, eyeing the large white bathtub resting on four silver clawfoot pedestals. White wicker shelves lined the far wall with bright white towels stacked perfectly.

  “This is really nice, Holly,” I noted when she entered the bathroom. Her shoulders fell as she shook her head, ready to wave me off, but I needed her to know how proud I was of her.

  “I mean it. You could have easily stayed at your parents. There’s more than enough room there for you, but you got your own place and it feels like… you,” I smiled when I found the perfect way to describe the vibe of her house.

  Everything was dainty and feminine, the absence of a man evident in every design decision. She had made a comfortable and safe home to raise my son in, all on her own, and while the guilt was there, pride was the strongest emotion brewing in my chest.

  “Let me put him to bed,” Holly ignored me, carefully taking Chris from my arms before tiptoeing across the squeaky hardwood floors. They’d been restored, and I silently made a note to check her joints to minimize the noise, assuming the sound must wake Chris up.

  Watching Holly across the room, I felt a strong pull to her and Chris, a familial bond I’d never felt before. The only family I’d ever known were my parents and sister, but now I could see a family for myself, one I built.

  My chest was heavy with emotions. Purpose pumped through my veins for the first time. When Holly finally made her way back to me, I grabbed her without explanation, desperate to show her how I felt.

  A shocked gasp was the perfect invitation to taste her, feeling her body stiffen and then relax in my arms. When Holly finally let go, moaning against my tongue, I felt all the adrenaline from the day resurface, my body hardening with lust.

  I needed her.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  HOLLY

  “WAIT, WAIT,” I pressed on Jude’s chest, my hands massaging into his muscles as I panted, out of breath from his passion. “I need to take it slow.”

  “What’s wrong?” he asked, running his fingers through his hair as he fought to calm himself. Glancing around my bedroom, I could see his eyes lighten as his breathing slowed.

  “I need to tell you something,” I started, taking a deep breath as I searched for the words.

  He deserved to know if there was ever going to be a future between us. After spending a year hiding such a big secret, I didn’t want anything between us. If we were going to be together, Jude was going to have to accept all of me.

  “Should I be sitting for this?” he asked, his eyebrows bushing together in confusion.

  “Don’t be dramatic,” I rolled my eyes with a smile.

  Jude chuckled, stepping forward to close the gap between us before wrapping me in his arms. “You’re the one who pushed me away.”

  “It’s because you brainwash me with these kisses,” I cried, craning my neck away from that persuasive mouth of his.

  “Brainwash?” he asked in a shocked whisper, his smile different than any I’d ever seen from him. He was carefree and open, simple joy evident in his eyes. “Talk to me, babe.”

  My pelvis tightened, desire pooling between my legs as my eyes drifted to his lips. As badly as I wanted him, there was still fear, afraid of the pain, stretching to fit him in my tightness.

  “I haven’t been with anyone since… you know,” I said bashfully, looking away to avoid his glare.

  Jude’s eyes found mine, as he directed my chin with his thumb and index finger. “Since our night together,” he finished my sentence before softly kissing my lips.

  “Yes. I haven’t been with anyone since then,” I admitted, my voice smaller than I intended. Jude watched me carefully, silently urging me forward with his eyes. “I had a difficult labor with Chris.”

  I blurted the words out, though I never intended to tell him. I wanted him to know I was timid, but the last thing I thought a man would want to hear about was giving birth.

  “Have I hurt you?” His eyes narrowed, concern darkening the blue.

  “No, no,” I answered in a rush, holding my hands up. “You’ve…” I searched for the words. “You’ve made me feel things I haven’t felt in a really long time. And I get caught up and think I want something, but I know I’m not ready.”

  “We don’t have to rush anything,” Jude assured me, cradling the nape of my neck in his hands.

  “I just don’t want to be a tease. I know I invited you here, but I’m not ready to… you know,” I faded off again, trying to turn away, but Jude’s lips trapped me.

  “Holly, we can crawl for all I care. I just want to spend time with you,” he smiled, leaning down to pepper kisses along my shoulder. “If I promise to take it slow, can I spend the night with you and Chris?” he asked, shocking me.

  “You still want to stay?”

  Jude chuckled as he released me, his face relaxed as he walked across the room. “Of course I still want to wake up with you and my son.”

  For the millionth time that evening, butterflies fluttered in my belly. He watched Chris for a moment or so before turning to me. His eyes flashing with a hunger that spoke to a deep, deep part of me.

  “You ready for bed?” he asked after a long pause.

  “Mm-hmm…” I hummed, nodding along.

  Jude smiled, walking across the bedroom as he pulled his T-shirt over his head. “I’ll be back,” he called over his shoulder before walking into the bathroom, closing the door behind him.

  Suddenly I felt panicked, realizing the weight of the situation. I was finally spending the night with Jude after so many nights spent fantasizing, both before and after our night together. Moving quickly, I ruffled through my top drawer, scrambling through the fabrics before finding the thin lace nightgown I was looking for.

  Shimmying out of my new dress, I stepped into the lingerie with confidence, sighing softly as the fabric fell against my skin. It was the perfect ending to a perfect day, I thought to myself as I sprayed perfume on my wrist before rubbing it against my neck.

  Glancing at my reflection in the mirror, I fluffed my hair, moving my breasts around the nightgown just as the sound of running water called my attention to the bathroom.

  By the time Jude opened the door, I was in bed, tucked beneath my white pillow top duvet. His eyes scanned the room, pausing at the bassinet before landing on me.

&nbs
p; In nothing but his boxer briefs, Jude looked incredible, like a runway model. His abs flexed as my eyes roamed his body, pressure building between my legs in ways I hadn’t felt for months.

  “Let’s watch something,” he suggested as he climbed into the bed, pulling the covers over his body without glancing at my nightgown.

  “Okay,” I said, handing him the remote to the TV.

  I’d memorized every detail of Jude’s profile by the time we decided on watching Love Actually, determined to find another holiday movie. He was so handsome, his eyes lighting up as he laughed softly with every mistake he made learning to navigate my home surround-sound system.

  “Okay, I think I got it,” he smiled, turning to look at me for what felt like the first time since he climbed into the bed. “Come here,” he ordered, pulling me into his grip.

  Bound by his strong arms, I felt invincible, inhaling deeply as I appreciated his scent. I could feel the moment he noticed my nightgown, his body hardening just slightly, before he pulled away, glancing down to see for himself.

  “Damn. You look incredible.” His eyes raked over my body, pausing at my breasts, and again where the nightgown stopped at my thighs.

  Without thinking, I climbed on top of him, spreading wide to straddle his broad frame. Jude watched me with curiosity, gripping my body to keep me balanced.

  “What are you doing?” he asked, his voice low.

  “I just wanted to show you my pajamas,” I whispered as innocently as I could manage, lifting his hand before releasing it on my barely covered bottom, the lace from my nightgown rising.

  “I like these pajamas,” Jude whispered in my ear, his hand gripping a handful of my backside.

  Instinctually, my body rocked against his, moving if he were inside me. Jude’s hands gripped around me tightly, our mouths so close our lips brushed against each other’s without a word exchanged.

  The silence between us was ripe with tension as Jude’s hand found my breast, slowly massaging me. His manhood grew beneath me, and my juices trailed along his shaft as our bodies moved together in a barely controlled dance.

  “I want you,” I moaned, still in need to return the favor he’d given me at the park. Jude controlled my body, and I’d yearned to feel that power again.

  “Slow, babe. Remember?” Jude reminded me of my earlier request and I snickered, recalling my concerns.

  It was true. I was afraid to feel his massive weight tearing through my newly healed flesh, but my mouth watered to taste him, something I’d yet to experience. Climbing down his body as quickly as I’d straddled him, I could hear the soft gasp as my mouth inched closer to his hard cock.

  “Wait, wait, babe,” he called, but his hands made no attempt to stop me, his hips lifting from the bed as I tugged at the shiny fabric.

  Pulling his boxers down just far enough to free his heavy erection, I ran my lips along the base of his length, feeling the warmth of his cock.

  “Fuck,” he growled under his breath, turning me on even more. Watching the muscles of his abdomen, I started with the flat of my tongue, licking the length of his cock.

  He tasted incredible, and my mouth watered for more. Sheathing my teeth, I slid the tip of his cock to the back of my throat, massaging him as I hummed. Jude’s stomach flexed, his legs stiffening beneath me.

  When I finally released him, sliding my mouth up his shaft, he exhaled so loudly it sounded like a pant. He was so close to an explosion after one stroke, I made a mental note to prolong his suffering, hoping for a full load.

  “Oh fuck,” he growled as he slid his tip to the back of my throat. Using both my hands, I massaged in opposite directions, working in tandem with my mouth as I pleasured him, sloppily sucking him off.

  “Mm…” I moaned against his length, my own arousal building just from the sounds of his pleasure.

  “Right there,” he groaned, his stomach muscles relaxing as his hand fell to the back of my head, gently urging me to take more of him.

  “Mm-hmm…” I moaned as his hips lifted from the bed, his need for release obvious.

  I released him from my mouth, running my tongue down his shaft before taking his balls into my mouth for a moment. Jude inhaled long and hard, a labored breath that sounded tortured as I took his balls in my hand, sliding my tongue down his shaft before shoving him down my throat again.

  “Holly,” he pleaded, his hand heavier on the back of my head. His cock was so hard against my tongue I could feel his pulse as I sucked him until my jaws hurt.

  “Please, babe,” Jude’s words were a plea as his body tightened around me. “I’m gonna…” His abdomen was tense, and flexed when his balls drew up and a low growl fell from his lips.

  The feeling of his cock against my tongue bolted a sensation through my body before I tasted the saltiness of his warm semen at the back of my throat.

  “Holly…” he groaned my name as his pleasure escaped him.

  That night I slept more soundly than I had since I’d had Chris.

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  JUDE

  AS EXPECTED, Holly’s house had everything I needed to make breakfast. Though it was smaller than what I was used to seeing in Savannah, it was more than enough room for her and my baby boy, who I’d woken up after the sun peeking through the curtains ended my sleep.

  Chris was slow to wake, twisting his cute, button nose as he stretched his tiny body in my hands. His morning was spent under the microscope of daddy, my newest title that kept a continuous stream of pride coursing through my chest.

  Staring into his eyes, it was scary to feel such a deep love for another being so quickly. More than I ever expected, I felt connected to him, his eyes just like mine as he looked up at me with pure innocence. I knew I would never let anything bad come his way.

  When Chris grew tired of me making a mental list of every similarity I could spot between him and my sister, who he reminded me of most, he twisted his nose with discomfort, soft grunts announcing his boredom.

  “You need another view, buddy?” I asked quietly as I rose to my feet. It was my best trick with babies, holding them high in the air so they could see everything. As Chris was still so young, I supported his neck with my fingers. It had always calmed Jessie when she was as small as Chris. Our huge age gap meant that I remembered a lot about her childhood.

  Thinking of my sister brought a new perspective on the new information I’d learned. Not only was I now a father, but Jessie was an aunt and my parents were grandparents.

  While Holly feared her family’s reaction, I couldn’t convince myself anyone on my side would feel anything but joy after hearing the news. The family feud had always appeared to be led by the Fosters, so it made sense her mother would be apprehensive, but my mother still loved Holly’s parents. The more I recalled our breakfasts spent together, the more certain I grew that my mother would be ecstatic to meet Chris.

  As I tiptoed through the living room, I made my way to the kitchen. Holly’s cottage was small enough to still see her asleep in bed as I stood at the kitchen island, contemplating the possibility of making breakfast without upsetting Chris or waking Holly.

  A black contraption hanging from a door rack caught my attention as I recalled Holly wearing Chris on her chest, assuming that was what she used to pull it off. Twenty minutes later, I’d learned how to hold Chris without sacrificing my hands, and breakfast was a real possibility.

  Excited, Chris kicked his legs, his tiny toes tickling my abdomen as I rubbed his back, smiling down into his excited eyes. His dimples creased his cheeks, his small fingers curled into a fist.

  “Daddy’s gonna make Mommy breakfast, okay? You have to be quiet, little buddy,” I brought my index finger to my lips, which only seemed to excite him further.

  I’d just flipped the last pancake when I heard Holly’s gasp from the bedroom. Popping up with a look of fright I could read, I called out to relieve her stress as soon as possible.

  Even fresh from the bed, she was stunning. Her ey
es lit up when she spotted Chris on my chest, her smile soft and loving when she made her way to me.

  “Your mom texted and said you don’t need to come in,” I called, watching the anxiety fall from her face.

  It was the only reason I let her sleep so late, knowing how much she had to do. As her vision focused, I could see the smile develop as she took in the scene. Holly adjusted her sexy nightgown. In her sleep, the thin fabric had twisted, revealing more cleavage than she intended.

  “Good morning,” she smiled, rising up on her toes before kissing me softly.

  “Good morning,” I kissed her once more.

  “Did you feed him?” she asked, excitedly reaching for Chris.

  “Was I supposed to?” I asked nervously, the thought completely slipping my mind.

  Holly smiled as she kissed Chris’ cheek, his dimples flashing as he laughed loudly. “You didn’t tell your daddy you were hungry?” she asked him before kissing him, walking to the refrigerator.

  “I’m just happy he didn’t throw a fit on you. That was the longest I’ve slept in since…” she looked into the air as she reached for a bottle, shaking it as she moved around the kitchen seamlessly, holding Chris with one hand as she lifted and opened jars with one hand. “I guess since before my third trimester.”

  “Really?”

  “Yeah, and Chris was a big baby, so I was huge. I could barely sleep.” She rolled her eyes at the memory before leaning down to kiss the top of Chris’ head.

  “Well, I’m happy to give you one morning. I made you breakfast,” I announced, not wanting to dwell on the time I’d missed.

  It was easy for me to get lost in a past I’d never be able to change when it came to Holly and Chris. I wanted to know everything about her pregnancy, but I had to remind myself to take things slowly, trusting time to make things right.

  “I see. I didn’t take you for the cooking type,” Holly smiled, sitting down on a bar stool as she held Chris, feeding him from a small bottle.